Three Musicians From Classic Canadian Punk Bands Pass On

Rob Brent ~ Guitarist with London, Ontario (later Toronto) punk band The Demics. The Demics recorded the classic song "New York City" on their fist ep "Talk's Cheap" in 1979 which became a surprise hit in Canada. They later rerecorded it on a subsequent album in 1980 getting an American release and becoming a mid-size hit there as well. By that time Brent had left and been replaced by Steve Koch as the Demics moved from London to Toronto. Following the usual turmoil the band soon broke up without any more releases. The DEmics may have been a one-hit-wonder but it was quite a hit; "New York City" is one of the most beloved songs of the Canadian early punk era and was chosen as the greatest Canadian single of all time by Chart Magazine in 1996 as first "Talk's Cheap" and later a full album were released.

THE DEMICS ~ "TALK'S CHEAP" (full ep);


THE DEMICS ~ "NEW YORK CITY";


Brian Goble ~ Bassist with The Skulls, one of Vancouver's first punk bands. After they broke up singer Joey Shithead went on to form DOA while Goble became singer and singer with The Subhumans. He would later rejoin DOA in the 1990's ~ 57;

THE SUBHUMANS "FUCK YOU";


THE SUBHUMANS ~ "TWO BIT WHORE";


DOA ~ "WORLD WAR 3";


JEFF DEPEW ~ Drummer for London Ontario punk band 63 Monroe. A band of the early eighties who scored a minor hit with a goofy run through of the Herman's Hermits song "Henry VIII". That wasn't really an accurate taste of the band's sound which was a much heavier and louder New York Dolls type of Glam-Trash Punk. 63 Monroe put out a few albums locally throughout the 80's but never left London. Various members also had a side band named Osterberg, which as you might assume started out as a Stooges cover band before later turning to originals. I actually booked them a few times in the 2000's and they were a rock solid live band. 63 Monroe also did a session at CIUT a few years back. A version of 63 Monroe, including Depew, was playing as late as a couple of weeks ago when they did a benefit for a Christmas Toy Drive in London.

63 MONROE ~ "HENRY VIII";


63 MONROE ~ "GIVE 'EM UP";

The Drums Of August

The Drums Of August;

DIRE STRAITS ~ "BROTHERS IN ARMS";


As we all know by now 2014 is the centennial of the start of World War One. Naturally this gives an excuse for watching plenty of TV retrospective documentaries. Less desirable it also gives politicians a chance to grandstand off of someone else's heroism and sacrifice. I am really not looking forward to the next four years of watching Stephen Harper take credit for Vimy Ridge. As if the last four years of War Of 1812 pandering wasn't annoying enough. Still it does give history buffs the chance to indulge in our favorite hobbies; visiting the counter-factual world.

A counter-factual world is an exercise in trying to imagine how things would be different if certain historical events had happened differently, or not at all. Such as; what if Chamberlain hadn't backed down at Munich in 1938, or if the 1944 assassination attempt on Hitler had succeeded, or if the assassination of Lincoln had not, or if Lincoln had not been elected at all, or if Bonnie Prince Charlie had won at Culloden in 1745 or Montcalm on the Plains Of Abraham in 1756 or Napoleon at Waterloo, etc, etc. How would the world be different? There is no real answer of course but it's cool to make a reasonably educated guess.

DEATH OF ARCHDUKE FERDINAND;



In a recent book entitled "Archduke Francis Ferdinand Lives!" author Richard Ned Lebow asks the question; "How would the world look if World War One had never happened. The book is a quick read managing to cover both best and worst case scenarios in a brisk 238 pages. Lebow is mostly concerned with the political and scientific ramifications and spends more time on the "best case" rather than the worst, clearly thinking the former more likely than the latter, as do I.




Space limits my ability to go into great detail but suffice it to say Lebow postulates a world in which not only World War One but World War Two never happen since the second obviously was brought about by the conditions caused by the first. Ditto for the entire Cold War and post Soviet Balkan wars along with some of the wars of Third World Liberation and religious wars of the Middle East. Communism and Fascism do not take power except perhaps in some isolated cases (such as Spain and some parts of Latin America) and the Japanese are still militarists. There are no nuclear, chemical or biological weapons. There is no post-war influenza pandemic. There is certainly no Holocaust, Armenian Genocide, Cambodian Genocide, Chinese Cultural Revolution or mass starvation in Russia. So far so good.

Unfortunately scientific development is slowed greatly and we are still driving in Model T's, flying in Zeppelins and biplanes and riding in steam trains. There is no radar, sonar, nylon, computers, submarines, jets, rockets and various chemicals, vaccines and drugs. Smallpox, Polio and Tuberculosis are still scourges. Cultural development is also slowed. There is still racial segregation in America and South Africa. Jews are still openly discriminated against and there is no Israeli state. Some parts of the third world are still colonies. Women have to wait decades longer for the right to vote and although they would have it by now, they would still not have full equal rights. America does not have a black president and will not be getting a woman president any time soon. No other country likely has one either.

"THE AIRSHIP DESTROYER" (1909)


Lebow is mostly concerned with the political and scientific ramifications and I'm not going to spend more time on those elements, instead I wish to examine the possible ramifications on music, film and related youth culture which Lebow deals with only briefly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUTH CULTURE IN A WORLD WITHOUT THE WORLD WARS;
To begin with the very concept of Youth Culture and "Teenagers" is a completely modern one. There had always been teenagers of course. But for centuries they were simply young adults, with the same opinions and tastes as their parents. Very few would ever dream of going to university and the network of cheap community colleges were not even built until after World War Two. Most simply finished high-school (if they were lucky) and got jobs. The guys that is. Most girls did not work outside the home nor did they expect to. Most were married by the time they hit twenty. If there had been such a concept as "cool", teenagers would not have been seen as such. They were not cute like kids but they were not as experienced and confident as adults. This is why most of the romantic leading men of the early days of pre-Great War film were expected to be in their thirties rather than the early twenties of today's screen heartthrobs. Women sex symbols could be younger of course. In the end they all had the same political, musical, artistic and fashion tastes as their parents and none thought that strange.

A HAPPY VICTORIAN FAMILY;



This started to change somewhat in the Edwardian era just before World War One as the strict grey world of the Victorians loosened up somewhat and new political ideas like Progressivism, Socialism and Anarchism took root. New or newish scientific ideas theories became mainstream. Some good; evolution, pscho-analysis, relativity, some bad like eugenics and some merely silly like phrenology. New artistic schools as well; Futurism, Cubism, Expressionism, Art Nouveau, and musical experiments with tonality, serial music, syncopation and Ragtime come from this era. In literature the French Symbolists like Rimbaud, decadents like Oscar Wilde and Huysmans and modernists like Henry James, Joseph Conrad, Anton Chekhov and the Norwegian playwright Ibsen had broken new ground. But these developments were largely limited to a small group of well-off, well-educated elites in the west. The mass of people, even in the Americas, Europe, Japan, Australia, white South Africa and urban Latin America, whether rural or urban working class, still accepted Victorian attitudes as the norm.

World War One shattered this quiet and insular world for good. Obviously the old order and the old platitudes had not prevented a traumatic international cataclysm. Political reforms mostly stalled however (except for women's suffrage) as the political systems in North America were tilted in favour of a conservative rural electorate still obsessed with Prohibition, but artistic and intellectual reforms plunged ahead. A larger demographic of disenfranchised youth were looking to challenge the old order which had failed them so dramatically. Also many in North America and Australia/New Zealand had toured some of the cultural capitals of Europe and found the contrast with the provincial, and often puritanical small towns back home jarring. Prohibition in America and parts of Canada encouraged this cultural and moral disconnect. They also had for the first time the economic freedom to indulge in cultural pursuits like music, fashion, literature, art and film as the war had led to industrial growth. Technical progress was a related factor as suddenly large numbers of people could afford a car, thanks to the Model T Ford, giving them a freedom to travel quite easily where their parents could have scarcely dreamed of. This meant they could, and did, go out on the town every week, to speakeasies or dance clubs with no parents around for miles. A new invention, radio, meant that the new musics like Jazz could circulate in ways that would have been impossible before the war. The Gramophone was not a new invention but it became cheap enough for practically anyone to afford further bringing Jazz to the masses. Jazz was perfect for young people looking to blow off steam; it was loud, it was fast, it was carnal, it was new, it was fun. The fact that parents hated it was irrelevant since kids now had their own scenes. This was new and led to a new phenomenon, a teen subculture with it's own music, fashion, slang, drinks, dances and a sense of itself. Once that bridge was crossed later trends like swing and rock and roll were just a matter of time. Likewise after that the later subcultures of the sixties and seventies like beats, hippies, punk and hip-hop.

NOBLE SISSLE & EUBIE BLAKE ORCH ~ "ST LOUIS BLUES";


With this cultural and recreational distance between youth and adult cultures social and political distance was bound to follow. If adults reacted by trying to prohibit and censor, youth would react with defiance which would in turn lead to further resentment by adults and so on. If adults would ban booze then youth would naturally insist on drinking in larger numbers. If adults insisted on enforcing Victorian attitudes about sex then youth would become more free wheeling. And so it has gone ever since. The rock and roll of nineteen fifties, the larger cultural upheavals of the sixties including the peace/civil rights/woman's lib movements, the punk rock/hip-hop/anarchist/environmentalism/gay rights of the seventies onward all have their roots in the world created by the fallout from World War One. Without the war the easygoing but still conservative consensus of the Edwardian era would have survived for decades, even generations. With a soundtrack to match.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUSIC IN A WORLD WITHOUT THE GREAT WAR;
Before the war jazz was a localized music known by urban blacks and a few white musicians. Almost as soon as the war ended jazz exploded internationally in absolutely unprecedented way. Similarly before the war blues had been even more limited to blacks in the rural south, while country music was limited to whites in the rural south and west and parts of Canada. Rural blacks and whites also had their own versions of gospel music as well. Records and radio brought all this to audiences outside their regions and to the wider world that would never had happened otherwise. Some black jazz musicians like James Reese Europe, Dan Kildare, Sidney Bechet, and Josephine Baker brought their music to Europe in person and created a sensation. Without the war would they have thought to do so? Lebow argues that they would have and further that they would have stayed there since career prospects, not to mention social advancement in Jim Crow's America was obviously blocked. Their success in America and all around better treatment would have encouraged other black jazzmen to emigrate as well. This would have enriched Europe's musical scene at the expense of Americas. However I have my doubts about the willingness of blacks to pick up and head off to Europe without the catalyst of the Great War.

It is true that some black musicians did indeed travel to Europe even before the War. Some even recorded there and had successful careers. However most did not. We must remember that traveling to another continent was a much more unusual event in those days. Most people lived their entire lives without traveling more than a few hundred miles for any reason. Unless they were immigrants of course, in which case they made one long trip once, then settled down. Steam power had made long distance travel at least feasible but it was still a long and arduous journey. When Woodrow Wilson went to Europe to negotiate the end of the War in 1919 he was in fact the first American President to journey to Europe while in office and only the third sitting President to leave the country at all. Trivia note; The Other two were Teddy Roosevelt who visited the Panama Canal and Chester Allan Arthur who stopped off in Canada for a picnic while fishing. And that was literally it. In fact some seriously wondered if Wilson could still be President at all if he were so far away for weeks at a time. In 1938 when Neville Chamberlain went to Munich to negotiate with Hitler the fact that he went at all (and by plane no less) was still news in itself. In fact the leadership of Nazi Germany, Italy, Japan and the USSR was notable for how few of them had ever traveled much outside their countries. In World War One this was even more true. All this means that the idea of a large influx of blacks to Europe was unlikely. It would have been a trickle without the war. Besides the Great War led to a far more significant black migration. An internal one.

MISSISSIPPI FRED MCDOWELL ~ "BLUES MAKER";


At the turn of the century the vast majority, at least three quarters, of all blacks in America still lived in the south, and the rural south at that. Most lived lives of poverty and oppression as sharecroppers, manual laborers and small farmers. They were oppressed by segregation at every level of society as well as peonage laws that were barely different from slavery, not to mention the constant threat of violence. Still remarkably few left. Partly through loyalty to families but many were also kept down by debts which could never be repaid and from which they could be arrested for trying to escape. Besides with no guarantee of jobs and housing up North or out West why risk it? The War changed that with it's incessant demand for workers to fuel the war economy there were suddenly plenty of well paying jobs needing to be filled. There were also jobs to be had in the army, which was segregated of course, but jobs nonetheless. The mass exodus of blacks (and some whites) fleeing the south for the north, mid-west and west coast caused the largest migration in American history with most moving to inner cities. And these black internal immigrants took their musics with them.

"HARLEM REVIEW" (circa 1930);


One of the great myths of jazz is that it was spread from New Orleans northwards after the Army closed up the red light district sending the musicians up the Mississippi in search of gigs. There is a kernel of truth in this. Many fine New Orleans musicians moved north who might otherwise have been happy to stay where they were in their easy gigs. King Oliver, Louis Armstrong, Jellyroll Morton, Sidney Bechet, The New Orleans Rhythm Kings, Original Dixieland Jazz Band among others made their mark this way. But part of the reason for this success was the vast and loyal audience who went north as well, bringing with them jazz, blues, gospel as well as Soul Food and a set of slang as a seasoning. It was this that led to the jazz explosion that would dominate American and world music for the next twenty years. As well as the blues and gospel that (when blended with country music) would lead to the rock and roll that would dominate after that. Without the Great War this musical exodus would certainly not have occurred. Jazz, Blues, Gospel and Country would have still existed of course, but few outside the south would know much about it for many years if not decades.

ILLINOIS JAQUETT ~ "ONE NIGHT BOOGIE";


During the Second World War this process repeated itself in yet another exodus from the South. Besides the black exodus there was also an smaller but still significant white exodus from poverty stricken Appalachia, Ozarks, and Oklahoma bringing their folk and country musics as well. More importantly World War Two also completed the international reach of jazz through Swing which became the undisputed music for young people in the developed world for anyone who wasn't politically opposed to it such as Fascists, Communists or conservative Christians. This finished the job of selling jazz that had started during the first war and would lead inevitably to the later conquest of Rock and Roll. Without the two wars bringing these cultures together in a great crusade for democracy it is hard to see any of this happening. Jazz would have still made it's way to Europe and beyond, as indeed it was already doing, but it would have stayed as a fad for a small number of urban Bohemians and adventurist youths, it would not have become the lingua franca of youth culture.

GENE RODGERS ~ "JUKEBOX BOOGIE";


Besides the larger cultural and sociological ramifications it's worth a quick look at how the wars affected certain notable musicians. For some the first war was a boon. As stated, black bandleaders James Reese Europe and Dan Kildare created a sensation in Europe with their proto-jazz as well as inspiring great pride in the black community. Lebow in fact does take note of James Europe's importance. Without the war they would not have had anywhere near the same impact even if they had gone to Europe anyway as Lebow assumes. On the other hand without the war they both would have probably lived longer. James Europe was murdered by a band member soon after returning home, a tragedy that might have been avoided if his band had stayed in the less stressful confines of Harlem. While Kildare had a meltdown in Britain and killed himself and his wife in a murder suicide in 1920. Original Dixieland Jazz Band pianist Harry Ragas died in the influenza pandemic that spread in the aftermath of the Great War, as did Ragtime pianist/composer Felix Arndt and New Orleans band leader King Watzke.

JAMES REESE EUROPE ~ "BROADWAY MELODY" (1919);


As is well known Glenn Miller died in a plane crash in the next war. British Jazz bandleader Ken "Snakehips" Johnson was killed by a German bomb along with sax player Dave "Baba" Williams while on stage, similarly British Big Band singer Al Bowlly was killed in another air raid and Big Band singer Chick Henderson killed in yet another. Avante Garde composer Anton Webern was killed by an American sentry in occupied Germany immediately after the war. Even after the wars the draft continued in America and Britain (two countries who had not had the draft before, and certainly would not have done so without the wars), among several musicians who had their careers derailed by the Cold War draft include; Rockabilly singers Terry Dene, Glen Glenn and Tibby Edwards and bluesman Magic Sam (imprisoned for a few years for going AWOL). Old Time Country singer Davy Miller went blind after an infection suffered in the Great War. Gene Vincent was seriously injured for life in a traffic accident on a military base, a factor that led to his later fatal addiction to painkillers. Not all musician's experiences were negative however. Jazz pianist Dave Brubeck got a gig playing for the USO during WW2 and therefore got to travel to exotic places like Turkey where he was exposed to local music that would heavily influence his trademark sound. Nineteen sixties Doo-Wop group The Del-Vikings and Garage band The Monks were actually formed while the members were in the military, while Doo-Wop singer/songwriter Fred Parris wrote the classic "In The Still Of The Night" while on guard duty. Stride piano player Willie The Lion Smith claimed he got his nickname due his bravery under fire during the Great War. Woody Guthrie and Cisco Houston served in the merchant marine in WW2 and also entertained the troops from various races and nations and from whom they learned a number of songs they passed on in the later folk boom of the later fifties. Arlo Guthrie owed his biggest hit (later also a movie) "Alice's Restaurant" from his account of his experiences with the draft during the Vietnam War, a war that America would certainly not have been involved in were it not for the Cold War. Some artists would have their careers derailed by the Cold War Red Scare including The Weavers, Paul Robeson and Josh White.

GENE VINCENT ~ "BLUE JEAN BOP";


It would be absurdly easy to come up with a list of individual songs that would not have existed without the wars; besides the afore mentioned "Alice's Restaurant", there's "Eve Of Destruction" (Barry McQuire), "Sky Pilot" (Animals), "Draft Morning" (Byrds), "Last Train To Clarksville" (Monkees), "I Ain't Marching Anymore" (Phil Ochs), "Fixing To Die Rag" (Country Joe), "Atomic Cocktail" (Slim Gaillard), "Volunteers" (Jefferson Airplane), "War" (Edwin Starr), "Ball Of Confusion" (Temptations), "Fables Of Faubus" (Charles Mingus), "Machine Gun" (Peter Brontzman Octet), "A Survivor From Warsaw" (Arnold Schoenberg), "Mr Hitler" (Leadbelly), "Fortunate Son" (CCR), "Oakie From Muskogee" (Merle Haggard), "Sink The Bismark" (Johnny Horton), "War Pigs" (Black Sabbath), "Holidays In The Sun" (Sex Pistols), "Belson Was A Gas" (Sex Pistols), "Nazi Punks Fuck Off" (Dead Kennedys), "California Uber Alles" (Dead Kennedys), "Holiday In Cambodia" (Dead Kennedys), "Sheep Farming In The Falklands" (Crass), "Reich And Roll" (Forgotten Rebles), "Nazi Apocalypse" (Simply Saucer), "99 Luft Balloons" (Nena), "Zyclon B Zombie" (Throbbing Gristle), "War Dance" (Killing Joke), "Abolish Government" (TSOL), "World War 3" (TSOL), "Flame Of The West" (Big Country), "Fields Of Fire" (Big Country), "Where The Rose Is Thrown" (Big Country), "Red Skies At Night" (The Fixx), "The Lebanon" (Human League), "Two Tribes" (Frankie Goes To Hollywood), "Enola Gay" (O.M.D), "30 Seconds Over Tokyo" (Pere Ubu), "Final Solution" (Pere Ubu), "Mussolini Headkick" (Cabaret Voltaire), "Baader-Meinhoff" (Cabaret Voltaire), "That's When I Reach For My Revolver" (Mission Of Burma), "Let's Start A War" (The Exploited), "Nuclear Device" (The Stranglers), "They Walked In Line" (Joy Division), "I Was A Kamikaze Pilot" (Hoodoo Gurus), "Tojo" (Hoodoo Gurus), "Atomic Power" (Louvin Bros) "Brothers In Arms" (Dire Straits). And of course "I Ain't No Communist (Carson Robison & Lulu Belle & Scotty) and "Right In The Fuhrer's Face" (Spike Jones). And those are just off the top of my head.

CABARET VOLTAIRE ~ "MUSSOLINI HEADKICK";


That misses the larger point however since there would be no Rock and Roll at all without the massive cultural, demographic and technological changes brought about by the two wars. Ditto for all post Swing Jazz such as BeBop, Free Jazz and Fusion. I am assuming Swing itself would have developed anyway since all the ingredients were in place with the original Hot Jazz, however it would have developed much more slowly and with a smaller (and blacker) audience. Likewise the Blues, both Folk Blues (Delta, Piedmont and Jug Band) and more urban Classic Blues would have existed even if the Black Migration had not happened, however the post World War Two Chicago style Electric Blues and probably the Kansas City style Jump Blues would not. The more formalized Black Spirituals of the 1920's would have still existed but the Blues influenced post war Gospel and Doo-Wop might not. Old Time Country Music and Bluegrass would sound the same but Honky-Tonk, Western Swing, Hillbilly Boogie and The Nashville Sound would probably not.

THELMA WHITE & HER ALL GIRL BAND ~ "CHOO-CHOO";


Moving away from Jazz and Rock; electronic music is a development of the nineteen twenties Dada (and Futurist) art movement that was inspired by disgust of the Great War when the Italians Filippo Marinettii and the brothers Luigi and Antonio Russolo developed their theories about "The Art Of Noises" and invented giant electronic instruments to play their "Industrial Music". This would later directly influence figures such as Leon Theremin, George Antheil, Karlheinze Stockhausen, Iannis Xanakis, Edgard Varese, Steve Reich and later The Velvet Underground, Throbbing Gristle, Cabaret Voltarie, Tangerine Dream and Kraftwerk.

LEON THEREMIN;


Arnold Schonenberg, father of Avante Garde music, was already composing challenging works in Vienna prior to the Great War in which he would revolutionize music by breaking down it's tonal structure and abandoning melody. However the rise of the Nazis forced the Jewish composer to flee to America where he would influence a new generation of Americans like Henry Cowell, John Cage, Wallingford Reigger, Lukas Foss, Henry Partch and Phillip Glass. Italian conductor Arturo Toscaninni would flee to America as well. Charles Tomlinson Griffes, openly gay American Avant Garde composer would die in the 1919 influenza pandemic.

ARNOLD SCHOENBERG ~ "A SURVIVOR FROM WARSAW";


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RADIO AND TELEVISION;

Lebow argues that technological developments were greatly advanced by the wars and actually this is a common assumption. In most cases this is certainly true; airplanes, submarines, rockets, radar, sonar, nylon, plastics, and various medicines and chemicals, not to mention nuclear and atomic power came from the wars. However there are two inventions having a crucial cultural impact for which the wars either had no impact or which would have actually developed faster without the wars. Radio is the first case. Commercial radio began broadcasting immediately after the Great War and became ubiquitous throughout the developed world with shocking speed. Within only a few years it was everywhere and it's impact in spreading music, news, entertainment and culture truly can not be overemphasized. Perhaps the War had delayed or sped up the radio's unveiling by a few years but this does not appear to be the case and even if it was, it was a minor factor.

As for television; it's development was actually slowed by WW2. As I've already written elsewhere, television broadcasts were already well underway in Britain, America and Germany by the late thirties with reasonably full schedules and several thousand sets in all three countries. Broadcasting on a smaller scale was also underway in a number of other countries. The war stopped most of this in it's tracks for the duration and postwar development in Europe was slowed by the economic challenges of rebuilding in Europe and Japan. Likewise FM radio (as opposed to the already common AM) was also stopped for the duration of the war.

A FRAGMENT OF GERMAN TELEVISION CIRCA 1936


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FILM;

The international film industry was already well underway when the Great War started. Full length films were being made in America, France, Italy, and to a lessor extent Britain, Germany, Scandinavia, Canada, Australia, Russia and even Japan, China and India. Such figures as George Melies, DW Griffith, Mac Sennett, Charlie Chaplin, Max Linder, John Bunny, Bert Williams, Bronco Billy Aronson, Asta Neilson, Paul Wegener, Theda Bara, Florence Labadie, Florence Lawrence, and Nell Shipman were already famous, the war did not change that. Genres like Westerns, Mysteries (including Sherlock Holmes, although oddly not in Britain), Slapstick Comedies and Serials were already common-place. Long big budget epics were being made by Griffith as well the Italians.

However the end of the war brought about a major development that would indeed change the way films were made and perceived. The changes came out of Germany, a country that had actually not been an important film center before the war. While America, France and Italy exported numerous films internationally, Germany made mostly low budget comedies, slightly risque burlesques and escapist adventures and crime stories (including Sherlock Holmes, always popular in Germany). However the depression, both psychological and economic, brought about by their defeat turned the Germans toward a new approach to film, Expressionism. As an artistic genre Expressionism had been popular in Germany and Scandinavia for at least a decade since the works of Edvard Munch. This dark and moody approach had already graduated to theatre and even two classic films made just before the war by actor/director Paul Wegener; "Der Golem" and "The Student Of Prague". However it was after the war that the iconic film "The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari" (by director Robert Wiene and starring future stars Conrad Veidt, Werner Krause and Lil Dagover) would open the floodgates with films by Fritz Lang, FW Murnau, GW Pabst, Paul Leni and later Leni Reifenstall. Their decade long series of brilliant films would break new ground in film techniques as they developed new ways of using cameras, lighting and sets along with topics like horror, the subconscious, sex, and crime. They would influence Hollywood into new directions like horror, Film Noir, and sci-fi in a sophisticated way that made the films of DW Griffith seem old fashioned almost overnight. Perhaps without the war some of this would have happened anyway as German filmmakers experimented with Expressionist theatre and set design techniques already in use in Germany, (as stated Paul Wegener was already doing so) but there is no guarantee. Certainly the conditions that led to the creation of "Dr Caligari" are so specific to the chaos of post war Germany that it is hard to see the film being made otherwise. Or of it's finding an audience if it did. At any rate even Expressionism would not have nearly so dark and gloomy without the war's baleful cloud, and without this influence Film Noir and Horror would likely not exist as we know it.

"GENUINE" ~ DIRECTED BY ROBERT WIENE 1920;


Another lesser known but influential German film-maker was Hans Richter, a Dadaist who made a series of brilliant short films that developed new types of editing and double exposures to create innovative collages. Without the influence of Dada he would probably not have become a film-maker at all, let alone a revolutionary one. And Dada would not have occurred without the War. More famous, or infamous was Leni Reifenstall who's Nazi propaganda films like "Triumph Of The Will" would certainly have never been made if there were no Nazis to glorify. Her films have influenced propaganda and advertising to this day. Walter Ruttmann was a pioneer of Animation and Documentary film in Germany since the early Twenties including the classic "Berlin; Symphony Of A Great City", died while serving as a filmmaker with the German army in World War Two. American director John Collins, considered a rising star with the film "Children Of Eve" died in the post World War One Flu Epidemic at age 36.

"INFLATION" BY HANS RICHTER (1927);


At the same time, while German film was immeasurably improved by the Wiemar years it was seriously crippled by the Nazis. Among those who fled to America were Fritz Lang, FW Murnau, Conrad Veidt, Marlene Dietrich, Werner Klemperer, and Maximillian Schell. Asta Neilson returned to Denmark. Incidentally a number of actors and dancers died in the 1919 Spanish Flu Pandemic including Gaby Deslys (French actress/dancer and a major star), Vera Kholodnaya (Russian actress, also a big star), American actors Julian L'Estrange, Harold Lockwood, Myrtle Gonzalez and Elijah Tahamont (AKA Indian actor Dark Cloud), Walter Stradling (English cinematographer) not to mention Mata Hari of course. Actor Leslie Howard died while serving in the R.A.F. in World War Two. British actress Mary Lawson (in the original versions of "To Catch A Thief" and "Scrooge"), S.J. Warmington ("39 Steps" & "Sabotage") and dancer Lydia Cecilia Hill were killed in an air raid. German actor Hans Brauswetter was killed in an air raid,actor Friedrich Kayßler was killed by Russian troops in Berlin in 1945. More actors, film-makers and script writers would however have their careers ruined by the Cold War Red scare and blacklists of the 1950's. Polish/German actress Diana Karenne ("Marie Antoinette", "Loves Of Casanova", "White Roses Of Ravensburg") killed in an air raid as was Swedish actress and singer Aino Bergo.

After WW2 the existence of a large teen culture with disposable income and a need to blow off steam away from their parents led to the creation of a new medium; the Drive-In Theatre. This in turn led to a need to create product tailored for teens; Science Fiction. Very little Sci-Fi was made prior to World War Two, and what had been made were fairly sophisticated and big budget films from Europe like "Metropolis", "The Woman In The Moon" (both by Fritz Lang), "Alarune", "Things To Come" (written by HG Wells), "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea", "Mysterious Island" (both based on Jules Verne works) and "Aelita Queen Of Mars" (Russian), all aimed at adults rather than teens. Similarly Horror films would move from the moody and Gothic like "Dracula", "Frankenstein", "The Wolfman" to low budget creature features. Other more obvious teen fare would include beach blanket movies, Rock & Roll movies, Hot Rod and Biker movies.

Some films would certainly not have been made at all without the wars; "All Quiet On The Western Front", "Saving Private Ryan", "Wings", "Tora Tora Tora", "From Here To Enternity", "Enemy At The Gates", "The Battleship Potemkin", "Platoon", "Full Metal Jacket", "Forest Gump", "MASH", "A Bridge Too Far", "Das Boot", "Apocalypse Now", "Reds", "Paths Of Glory", "The Longest Day", "Sink The Bismark", "Casablanca", "The African Queen", "Cabaret", "Dr Strangeglove", "Invasion Of the Body Snatchers", "Road Warrior". The James Bond, Indiana Jones and Tom Clancy movies would certainly be very different without Communists and Nazis to fight. Not to mention any number of Cold War fantasies like "Rambo" and "Red Dawn".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ART;

Many Avant Garde art movements of the early twentieth century were already underway before World War One including Cubism, Futurism, Fauvism and Expressionism along Art Nouveau. It may be said that the cultural upheaval of the 1920's along with the increased travel to and from Europe probably helped to publicized these movements. Particularly noteworthy are the Futurist war paintings of C. W. R. Nevison, the murals of Diego Rivera and later Picaso's "Gurenica". On the other hand at the same time it also led to Art Nouveau being super-ceded by the more modernist Art Deco and Bauhuas movements. The later Abstract Expressionism and Op-Art might have happened anyway as an outgrowth of these movements but it's hard to see it finding much of an audience in the more conservative world without the modernizing influences of the wars.

C.R.W. NEVINSON ~ "RETURNING TO THE TRENCHES";



That said there are two vital art movements that clearly came about as a result of the dislocation and disillusionment of the Great War; Dada and Surealism. Dada was founded by a group of largely German and Rumanian writers and artists hiding out in Switzerland during the war, for the express purpose of outraging the bourgeois society and the traditional art world they blamed for society's breakdown. Surrealism was both an outgrowth of and a response to Dada based in France. It is hard to imagine either movement happening without the 1920's Wiemar arts and Paris Cafe culture. It is also hard to imagine later Pop-Art, Conceptual Art and Minimalism without them, not to mention the works of George Grosz, Francis Bacon and HR Giger.

GEORGE GROSZ;



As an additional note; for some reason artists were particularly hard hit by the 1919 Spanish Flu epidemic spread in the aftermath of the Great War; Amadeo de Souza Cardoso (Portuguese Cubist & Expressionist painter), Harold Gilman (British post-impressionist painter), Bohumil Kubišta (Czech Expressionist painter), Ruby Lindsay (Australian Art Nouveau illustrator and painter), Morton Schamberg (American cubist painter) Raymond Duchamp (Cubist sculptor and brother to Dadaist Marcel), Toronto photographer Edwin Haynes and most importantly Austrian Art Nouveau painters Egon Schiele and Gustav Klimt. Klimt was one of the towering figures of the Edwardian Era and with his love of gilt, colour, glamor and sensuality so if anyone was the bridge between Art Nouveau and Art Deco Klimt was that man. Without that bridge painting would become more and more purely abstract.

GUSTAV KLIMT;


German painter Franz Marc was killed in WW1, German Primitivist painter Walter Spies was killed when the ship he was on was sunk in the Pacific, after he had fled Germany. Irish painter William Gerald Barry was killed in an air-raid. Italian Futurists were particularly hard hit with Umberto Roccioni, Antonio Sant'Elia, French artist Henri Gaudier Brzeska, while the founder of Futurism, Flippio Tomaso Marinetti made it to World War Two when he once again enlisted (despite being too old for the draft)as a propagandist and died of a heart attack. British artist Eric Ravilious disappeared while on a plane flight while serving as a war artist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LITERATURE;

An article for online academic mag "The Conversation" entitled "Without World War One, What Would Literature Look Like Today?" by Max Saunders deals specifically with the literary fallout from the great war. However he only really concerns himself with the immediate fallout, and mostly with British Post Modernist writers, although he does mention Erich Maria Remarque's "All Quiet On The Western Front" in passing.

Saunders argues that while it obvious that the "War Poets" that came out of the Great War such as Rupert Owen, Siegfreid Sassoon, Wilfred Owen and Rupert Brooke (being English he neglects to mention Canadian John MacRae), would not have written their best known works there is a more significant development to come out of the war. He credits Modernist writing to the War and post war world. Pre-War English writing (he argues) was mostly known for it's formal Victorian and pastoral sensibilities and the Romanticism of Keats, Shelly, Byron, the Brontes and the Brownings. Saunders doesn't mention Canada but here it would be much the same with the nature poems and sonnets of Pauline Johnson and Bliss Carmen, and the small-town sketches of Stephen Leacock and Lucy Maud Montgomery being most famous. In Quebec it would be the deeply Catholic rural homilies of Felix Leclerc. If not for the war those War Poets would have been "vacuous, conventional sonneteers". Of course some of these writers did not survive the war at all, including Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke and John McCrae. Without the War they might not be remembered at all. McCrae would no doubt stayed as a successful doctor in Guelph, popular and respected but completely unknown today. In fact the Great War took a terrible toll on writers and poets including French writers; Edmond ADAM, Charles Jean AJALBERT, Guillaume APOLLONAIRE, Jean BEAUFORT, Jean-Baptiste BEGARIE, Francisque-Anatole BELVAL-DELAHAYE, Hernan de BENGOECHE, Edouard BERNARD, Leon BERTHON, Adrien BERTRAND, Jean-Pierre CALLOC'H (pseud: "Bleimon"), Jean BOINE, Henri de BOISANGER, Aristide-Louis-Armand BRUANT, Roger BRUNEL, Joseph CAHN, Eugene CAPDEVILLE, Charles CARRAU, Henri COCARDAS, Auguste COMPAGNON, Antoine DUJARDIN, Jean de FOVILLE, Leon Isreal, Jean KLINGEBIEL, Rene LANCON, Marc de LARREGUY, Jacques LAVOINE, Anatole MEPLAIN, Charles PEGUY, Marius TOURON. British writers; H.B.K. ALLPASS, Harold BECKH, T.P. CAMERON-WILSON, Alec de CANDOLE, Leonard Niell COOK, Leslie A COULSON, Richard DENNYS, Rex FRESTON, Julien GRENFELL, William Noel HODGSON, Donald Frederic Goold JOHNSON, Rolland Aubrey LEIGHTON, W H LITTLEJOHN, Arthur James "Hamish" MANN, Charles John MASEFIELD, Francis St Vincent MORRIS, Hector Hugh MUNRO (pseud. "Saki"), Nowell OXLAND, Harold PARRY, Henry SIMPSON, Vivian Telfer PEMBERTON, Colwyn Erasmus PHILIPPS, Alexander ROBERTSON, Isaac ROSENBERG, Patrick SHAW-STEWART, William Ambrose SHORT, Henry SIMPSON, John William STREETS, Edward "Bim" TENNANT, Edward THOMAS, Robert Ernest VERNEDE, Arthur Graeme WEST, Gilbert WATERHOUSE, Cyril Morton HORNE, Ewart Alan MACKINTOSH, Alexander ROBERTSON, Charles Hamilton SORLEY, Robert STERLING, Walter Scott Stuart LYON, George C. DUGGAN, Tom KETTLE, Francis LEDWIDGE, Ellis EVANS. Canadian writer Bernard Freeman TROTTER, Germans Kurd ADLER, August Macke, Gerrit ENGLEKE, Franz JANOWITZ, Alfred LICHTENSTEIN, Albert MICHEL (Expressionist writer and poet), Adolf PETRENZ, Wilhelm RUNGE, Ernst STADLER (Expressionist poet), August STRAMM, Georg Trakl, and the Bulgarian Dimcho DEBELYANOV. French playwright Edmond Rostand, best known for his play Cyrano de Bergerac, died in the 1919 Spanish Flu pandemic as did Hungarian writer Margaritte Kafka (no relation to Franz) and American Progressive writer Randolph Bourne. British detective writer William Hope Hodgson was killed in action while Russian writer Alexandre Blok died during the Russian Revolution as did Nikolai GUMILEV and American writer John Reed ("Ten Days That Shook The World"). In World War Two German writer Adolf Brand was killed in an air raid as were Rumanian symbolist writer Ion Minulescu and Slovenian writer Josip Vandot, Russian writer Yevgeny Petrov was killed in a plane crash while working as a war correspondent.

JOHN MCCRAE



Saunders points as well to the Modernist writers of the post war 1920's such as T.S. Eliot, Ezra Pound, James Joyce, Virginia Wolf, Joseph Conrad and Ernest Hemingway as products of the War. Oddly he neglects F.Scott Fitzgerald, George Orwell and Franz Kafka, writers most associated with the 1920's. An even more more odd omission is any mention of the most notable literary development of the post World War Two era; the Beatniks. Obviously they could not have happened without the Modernist trailblazers. This holds true for their influence on songwriting since the sixties.

Kafka



Maybe so; I'm no literary historian (I'm on firmer ground with music, film and to a lesser extent art) but it seems to me that the seeds of Modernism were laid in the Victorian Era by the likes of the French Symbolists Beaudelaire, Rimbaud and Verlaine, Decadents like Oscar Wilde, Huysmans and Gogol and the likes of Joseph Conrad (who was already writing before the war). It also seems to me that, as in music and art, Modernism would have more less happened anyway, albeit slower and for a smaller audience.

There was another influential literary development stemming from the post Great War era, albeit one taken less seriously by literary critics; the Fantasy writings of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Robert Howard (the Conan series), Edgar Rice Buroughs (Tarzan), the Germans B. Traven and Ernst Junger and others. These writers had been deeply affected by the war (Tolkien and Junger had seen action) as well as the entire faster, noisier, crowded and impersonal pace of Modern life and unlike the Modernists, Futurists, Expressionists or Dadaists they chose to respond not by embracing, dissecting or even rebelling but by escaping to a world of Ancient/Medieval myth and allegory. These works, while derided by critics have become among the most widely read and influential of the century.

One more literary development of a more street level sort was the Pulp Fiction novels, Crime Stories, Western Stories (especially Zane Grey), Comic Books and Tijuana Bibles which spread in the wake of both wars. True some of these books and comics had been around to some degree for years but there is no doubt that they were spread by American troops, sailors and airmen to Europe and Asia where they would not have gone to otherwise, much the same way that Jazz and Rock & Roll spread. The popularity of these Pulps & Comics has had a definite effect on Youth Culture throughout the developed world, again much the same as Jazz and Rock.

CAPTAIN AMERICA TRAILER (1940's);


In the category of books that would not have been written we must also include a number of classic works of non-fiction. Historians like Barbara Tuchman ("The Guns Of August"), William Shrier ("The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich"), Cornelius Ryan ("The Longest Day", "A Bridge Too Far"), Hannah Arendt ("The Banality Of Evil"), numerous works by A.J.P. Taylor, economics works by Kaynes and Galbraith, military works by J.C. Fuller and John Keegan, Hitler biographies by John Toland and Ian Kershaw, not to mention Anne Frank's "Diary Of A Young Girl". The leftist works of John Reed including "Ten Days That Shook The World" would obviously not exist although he would still have written on left-wing issues. Reed would definitely longer instead of dying of typhus during the Russian Civil War aged only 32.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FASHION;

Fashion changed dramatically after the Great War. Before and after photos tell the tale. Before the War women in particular dressed much the same as they had since the early Victorian Era with long and restrictive dress and tight corsets. The ideal in women's fashion was The Gibson Girl. Even those women who played sports, and most did not, wore full length skirts and sweaters to play tennis, golf or cricket. And don't even ask about swimwear. Men were slightly better off but were still expected to wear jackets, ties, vests and hats at all time regardless of the weather. Since most men's clothes were made of wool this was doubly uncomfortable.

A GIBSON GIRL;



The 1920's brought liberation symbolized by the Flapper. Suddenly women could and did wear short, calf-length dresses without corsets. They could also let their hair down, literally, often bobbing it in the fashion of film stars Louise Brooks, Colleen Moore, Clara Bow and singers Helen Kane, Annette Henshaw, Ruth Etting and dancers Josephine Baker and Isadora Duncan.

BONNIE POE AS BETTY BOOP (1930's);


Men's fashion didn't change as much but it did get sleeker in the 1920's. Fashion and jewelry designers also felt free to run wild with designs based on Art Nouveau and Art Deco motifs. Later developments would steadily move towards more comfort and ease for both sexes leading to the unimaginable day when both men and women could wear shorts in public. Even the most forward thinking Edwardian never foresaw that happening. Let alone today's tatoos, piercings and dyed hair.

On a more war specific note to items came directly from the trenches. First the wrist-watch. Prior to the Great War men used pocket-watches, which meant they also had to wear a vest with pockets. However officers in the trenches, artillerists, pilots and submariners discovered that they needed a hands-free alternative and the wrist-watch was the solution. It caught on after the war. The leather jacket, emblem of Teen Rebels from the 1940's to today, was a product of the next war. Leather jackets were used by Pilots, Mechanics, Motorcycle Express Riders and Submariners as they were water-proof, wind-proof and stain resistant. They remained popular with motorcyclists afterwards and from there to teens in general becoming associated with Rockabilly and Doo-Wop. In fact the original motorcycle gangs were also a product of World War Two as the original members were dispatch riders, pilots and mechanics from the War blowing off steam. Later these weekend warriors would be followed by full time rock and roll rebels riding both cycles and hot-rods in the fifties and sixties. Later that impulse would filter down to skateboards and BMX's.

THE WILD ONE



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE HOLOCAUST

Of course hanging over everything is the influence of The Holocaust. There are all those artists, actors, filmmakers, musicians, composers and writers who had to flee Germany and occupied Europe, mostly to America. These artists vastly improved the culture of America and their leaving had a disastrous effect on the arts, music and especially film scenes in Germany. Names like Arnold Schoenberg, Fritz Lang, FW Murnau, Hans Richter, Conrad Veidt, Marlane Dietrich, Paul Klee, Wassily Kandinsky, Piet Mondrain, Erich Maria Remarque have already been noted. Worse however is the list of those who did not escape and were instead killed by the Nazi's.

FELIX NUSSBAUM;



Musicians & Composers;
German Jewish composer Heinz Alt was killed by the Nazi's as were composers Zikmund Schul, James Simon, Carlo Taube, Sigfried Translateur, Viktor Ullmann, Ernst Bachrich, Žiga Hirschler, Pavel Haas, Rudolf Karel, Gideon Klein, Hans Krása, Rafael Schächter, Erwin Schulhoff, Leo Smit, Viktor Ullmann, Lazlo Wiener, Marian Neuteich, Simon Pullman, Andrzej Włast, jazz musicians and arrangers Fritz Weiss, Szymon Kataszek, Artur Gold, libretist Fritz Lohner-Beda, violinist (and cousin of Gustav Mahler) Alma Rose, opera singers Richard Breitenfeld, Hans Erl, Henriette Gottlieb, Madga Spiegel, Ottilie Metzger-Lattermann, Erhard Wechselmann, Grete Forst, Juan Luria, choreographer Rod Riffler, Theodore Ritch, Polish/Yiddish composers David Beigelman, Zygmunt Białostocki, violinist Ludwik Holcman, Polish cantor Gershon Sirota (The Jewish Caruso), Polish folklorist Władysław Skierkowski.

Actors;

GEORG JOHN;



Kurt Gerron ("Diary Of A Lost Girl", "The Blue Angel", "People On Sunday", "The White Hell Of Pitz Palu", "Road To Rio"), actor Georg John ("Dr Mabuse", "Die Nibulngen", "The Last Laugh", "M"), Lisl Frank, Karel Hašler, Dora Gerson, Ernst Arndt, Christa Tordy, Anna Čalounová-Letenská, Cabaret comics Max Ehrlich and Fritz Grunbaum, Cabaret and film actor, singer and composer Willy Rosen, child actress Lea Deutsch, Dutch actor Coen Hissink, Dutch theater owner Abraham Icek Tuschinski, magician Ben Ali Libi, French Theatre and Ballet impresario Rene Blum, Franco/Rumanian actor/director Bernard Natan, Norwegian actor and director Henry Gleditsch, Polish actor Yitzchak Lowy, dancer Franceska Mann, Polish film pioneer Kazimierz Prószyński, Polish actor Igo Sym, Rumanian actress & opera singer Maria Forescu.

RUDOLPH LEVY;



Artists;
German/Jewish Art Nouveau and Art Deco sculptor Friedrich Adler, architect Alexander Beer, Cubist and Dada painter/sculptor Otto Freundlich, Post-Impressionist painter Rudolf Levy, Surrealist painters Felix Nussbaum and Peter Hammerschlag, Expressionist painters Charlotte Salomon, Natan Spigel, Art Nouveau painter Julie Wolfthorn, painter and illustrator Menachem Birnbaum, Bauhaus painter and designer Friedl Dicker-Brandeis, painters Tina Morpurgo, Malva Schalek, photographer Erich Salomon, architect Rudolf Wels, Imre Ámos, architect Harry Elte, Dutch graphic artist and mentor to MC Escher Samuel Jessurun de Mesquita , Polish painters Bronisław Czech, Stefan Filipkiewicz, Abraham Neumann, Jan Rubczak, Moshe Rynecki, Bruno Schulz, sculptor Henryk Hochman, Russian painter Abraham Berline

OTTO FREUNDLICH;



Writers;
Theatre critic and historian Max Herrmann, Expressionist poet Jakob van Hoddis, novelist Fritz Reck-Malleczewen, poets Gertrud Kolmar, Ivan "Goran" Kovačić, Viktor Rosenzweig, Pavel Friedman, poet and playwright Moriz Seeler, children's author Else Ury, playwright and poet Else Feldmann, playwright and screenwriter Ida Jenbach, novelist Oscar Rosenfeld, Czech Sci-Fi writer and artist Josef Capek, Editor of Franz Kafka's works Camill Hoffmann, writer Milena Jesenská, poet and libretist Peter Kien, playwrights Paul Kornfeld, Josef Taussig, poets Ilse Weber, playwright Károly Pap, novelist and critic Antal Szerb, poet and critic Jan Campert, feminist writer Anna Sophia Polak, Dutch publisher Emanuel Querido, French Surrealist poets Max Jabob and Robert Desnos, Franco/Romanian surrealist poet, playwright and screenwriter Benjamin Fondane, novelist Irène Némirovsky French poet Sarah Gerau Powell, Polish poets Franciszka Arnsztajnowa, Tadeusz Boy-Żeleński, Grażyna Chrostowska, Mordechai Gebirtig, Zuzanna Ginczanka, Józef Stefan Godlewski, Igor Korntayer, Debora Vogel, dramatist Itzhak Katzenelson, children's author Janusz Korczak, Polish critics Konstanty Troczyński, Kazimierz Zdziechowski, Slovenian writers Ivo Brnčić, Anica Černej, Avgust Pirjevec, Russian poet Maria Skobtsova,

JULIE WOLFTHORNE

Calgary's AMP FM Sez Size Doesn't Matter

DEAD KENNEDYS ~ "I LIKE SHORT SONGS" (live);



This past week as if to prove once again that not only is commercial radio the enemy of music but also that they have essentially given up it's battle for relevance with the interwebs, Calgary radio station 90.03 Amp FM announced they would be unveiling an exiting new concept in radio; ruthless editing.

AMP announced that henceforth they will be using a computer editing program to cut songs down to two minutes max in order to allow them to squeeze in twice as many songs in the same amount of time. To do this editing AMP uses a program called "Quickhitz" developed by a Vancouver company. Makes me proud to be Canadian.




AMP Radio's program director Steve Jones (who we can safely assume is not to be confused with the guitarist from the Sex Pistols) claims this allows for more hits for our fast paced times. In fact the songs are actually improved by taking out all that extraneous stuff those silly musicians left in like intros and solos and bridges and codas and stuff. Who's got the time to sit through all that? Don't bore us, Get to the chorus and wrap it up already. Time is money.

Media reports describe the reaction from listeners and musicians as "polarized" which assumes that there is anybody out there not actually employed by AMP who actually thinks this is not an incredibly stupid, arrogant, cynical, soulless, patronizing and thoroughly asinine idea.




Jones claims that "Radio is using archaic logic to decide its programming,” he said. “When you think about why songs are the length they are it goes back to the ’50s and ’60s when radio stations demanded three-minute songs and artists provided them. In order to be on a 45 RPM record with any sound quality your song had to be around three, three-and-a-half minutes. If you wanted to be on the radio or you wanted to be in a jukebox, which is how people heard their music back then, you had to be on a 45 RPM record. So that was the way it was done.
We sort of came to the conclusion that maybe it was time to rethink why songs are the way they were. As we look to people’s changing habits and changing attention spans and watch people on their iPod listening to half a song and forwarding on to the next one we sort of came to the conclusion that maybe it was time to rethink why songs are the way they were.”

Like all corporate douchebags Jones claims that "research" shows that people are changing the way they listen to music due to the internet and apps and stuff.

And like all corporate douchebags Jones has learned that type of smug corporate-speak that enables him to paint himself as a bold innovator, a visionary even;

"It struck me that we are using logic that is 60 years old in an era where communication has changed dramatically in all it's forms"




OK; first of all commercial radio has been around for over ninety years, not sixty, but I assume he edited a third of that time out for brevity. And as for for all the buzz words about Youtube and file sharing I point out that the biggest Youtube based pop hits ("Gangum Style", "I'm Sexy And I Know It", "What Does The Fox Say", "Blurred Lines", Weird Al, OK-Go) are not any shorter than "traditional" songs, whatever the Hell that might mean. While one might make an assumption that Youtube may be encouraging people to watch shorter film and TV clips there is no absolutely no evidence that it is creating a demand for pop songs that any shorter than the usual three and half to four minutes that has been standard since before the days of the jukebox. That basic time was originally came about mostly due to the space restrictions of records, first 78's then 45's. But even pop songs from the earlier era were about the same length, a fact we can estimate from the existing sheet music that was used to promote music in the Victorian era. It would seem that humans are quite happy with that basic time for a catchy song. It gives you enough time to establish a mood or a groove, establish a catchy riff and chorus, embellish it with a solo and resolve the song in a satisfying way. Most pop/rock/country/blues singles don't really have a lot of excess baggage. That's why they're singles. Longer, experimental pieces, mood setters or flashy instrumental showcases are album tracks which are avoided by commercial radio anyway.

Like all corporate douchebags Jones can bolster his case with a grain of truth pointing out that radio has edited songs down for brevity for years. And this is true; "Stairway To Heaven" (Led Zeppelin), "Time Has Come Today" (Chambers Bros), "Money For Nothing" (Dire Straits), "All Tomorrow's Parties" (Velvet Underground), "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" (Meatloaf), "Little Johnny Jewel" (Television), "Tainted Love" (Soft Cell) and of course "Inna-Gadda-Davida" (Iron Butterfly) were all edited down for radio airplay. The difference of course is that these were all long songs (in some cases very long) to begin with and the edited versions were done by the producers, with the band's knowledge and consent, not by some talentless radio hack with no concern for the integrity of the song. And the edited versions were still longer than two minutes.

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND ~ "THE EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE";


For all his "we're living in fast paced times so we need two minute songs now" rhetoric and his claims that he is on the cutting edge of radio in fact for most of it's history radio always did insist on short songs. It wasn't until the late sixties that FM radio started playing the longer songs now being put out by artists like the Beatles, Stones, Zeppelin, Who, Hendrix, Paul Butterfield, Ten Years After, Byrds, Doors, Buffalo Springfield, Arlo Guthrie, Black Sabbath and Jefferson Airplane. It would be hard to argue that we would have better served if some radio hack had been allowed to cut them down to two minutes. And these were all artists who actually got played on the radio, I'm not even talking about artsy or jam band types of the time like The Greatfull Dead, Velvet Underground, Frank Zappa, Yes, Red Krayola, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Pharaoh Sanders, Sun Ra or Tangerine Dream.

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND ~ "SYMPHONY OF SOUND";


Like all corporate douchebags Jones has mastered the tricky art of pretending to praise his listeners while actually insulting them saying; "We choose Calgary because it's a progressive, young, forward thinking city".

You see what he just did there? He flatters Calgarians as hip and savvy while at the same time insisting that they are too dumb to sit through a song for more than two minutes and need some soulless corporate bean counters to dumb down some pop songs that were not exactly Schoenberg pieces to begin with. Gee thanks Steve, you're a real prince. Not Prince of course because he actually has done a number of long songs, but what does he know about music? Isn't he like sixty or something?

A more valid comparison might be Ted Turner. You may recall that when the owner of CNN started the Turner Classic Movie channel he bought up the rights to thousands of classic black and white movies like "It's A Wonderful Life" and "Scrooge" and proceeded to colorize them. He did it with the same smug self assurance as AMP, claiming he was improving these dusty old films and exposing them to a new young audience who he claimed wouldn't watch a black and white film. He was wrong. Turner was met with universal scorn, outrage and ridicule and he eventually backed down. Colorizing is now remembered as a marketing disaster on the scale of New Coke, The Star Wars reboot or the Edsel. Sometimes, albeit not very often, our corporate overlords get what they deserve.

Another case that came to mind was when sculptor and jazz pianist Micheal Snow sued the Eaton Center for tying bows around the necks of the Canada Geese mobile during Christmas. The court ruled that by doing so The Eaton Center had cheapened his copyright even though the Eaton Center had bought and paid for the work. Then there's the matter of a Christian group in America several years back who announced that they had an new exiting idea for "family friendly" movies. They would buy videos of Hollywood movies then edit out all the sex, violence, swearing and gay or "occult" references, then rent out the new improved versions. This would make many movies last as long as the preview reels of course but that was a small price to pay for "our children" right? Wrong. Movie producers and directors put a quick stop to this with a few dozen cease and desist letters. A case could easily be made that AMP is doing the same thing. And unlike Ted Turner AMP clearly does not own these songs they are butchering. Of course someone with standing would have to file a suit. I would really love to see that. But then AMP would just respond by banning such an artist.

"TORONTO JAZZ" ~ 1963 DOCUMENTARY INCLUDES FOOTAGE OF MICHEAL SNOW:


Of course our corporate overlords really don't like being called on their shit, as Jan Arden found out. The pop singer and CBC TV guest host led the pushback against AMP in interviews calling the move an "insult" and saying "It's like a TV station saying we're going to show "Titanic" but we're going to cut out the end cause we already know what happens and our viewers are to stupid to sit through a whole movie". Along with several Twitter posts like "Can anybody recommend half a good book I can read?". AMP responded by announcing that she was henceforth banned from not only AMP but all stations owned by the parent company Newcap who also own over ninety other radio stations in Canada. Because nothing shows your commitment to music like censorship. Then it got nasty. Some internet trolls to the opportunity to attack Arden with such clever insults as "fat bitch", and "hasbeen" while she responded with some insults of her own which included Jones having a small dick.




So naturally like all corporate douchebags Steve Jones played the victim card, calling Arden's mocking criticism "cyberbullying". Because a few rude jokes directed at a corporate drone is totally like hounding a teenage girl into suicide. He even played the "How am I going to explain this to my kids" card. I don't know Steve; try telling them that you're a whiny patronizing asshole who defaced songs you don't own, treated artists and your audience with contempt and then got called on it. Oh; and incidentally I notice Jones didn't even pretend to call out those internet trolls who attacked Arden on his behalf. Explain that double standard to your kids while you're at it. I know corporations are supposed to be "people" now but do they have to be such fucking crybabies?

(A personal aside; After I reposted a story on Facebook about Jones whining about Arden I got a response from some idiot insisting on his right to call Arden a "fat bitch" and a "pig". Not recognizing the person I checked his page and was not surprised to see that literally every single post for weeks was a hateful rant or reposting of same about lazy blacks, Muslims, "liberals" and Obama. What is wrong with these guys? Why is everything a conspiracy to keep the white man down? Isn't it exhausting to be so paranoid and outraged all the time?)




Incidentally back in 2011 when the 88.1 FM signal went up for grabs Newcap was one of those in on the resulting feeding frenzy with a proposal for another one of their oppressively bland pop stations. Which is another reason to be glad that INDIE 88 got the spot instead.

Anyway in the interest of radio brotherhood I'd like to offer my services to Steve Jones and AMP Radio. No really, I can offer some free advice here. The genre of "absurdly short punk songs" is a much beloved if inherently limited one. Remember the first album by DRI where half the song were less than 30 seconds long? Actually some were less than 20 seconds long. Then Napalm Death once took this sort of thing to it's logical conclusion by having a one second song called "You Suffer". In the immortal words of Napalm Death singer/guitarist Justin Broadwick;

"We played that song in front of 30 local kids, like, every weekend. We played that song 30 times."

There is even a word for this; "Micro Thrash". Therefore in the spirit of radio brotherhood I offer up for further research some bands known for songs 90 seconds long or less (this list is by no means exhaustive);

The Accused
Adrenaline O.D.
The Angry Samoans
Black Flag
Cabaret Voltaire
The Circle Jerks
The Descendants
Destroy All Monsters
Discharge
D.R.I.
The Feederz
The Germs
Glue Gun
Government Issue
The High Fives
The Middle Class
Minor Threat
The Minutemen
The Mr.T Experience
The Misfits
The Mono Men
Muck and The Mires
The Mummies
Napalm Death
The New Bomb Turks
Operation Ivy
The Ramones
Rancid
7 Seconds
REO Speedealer
Screaching Weasel
Social Unrest
State of Alert
The Subsonics
The Teen Idles
T.S.O.L.
The Undertones
Verbal Abuse
The Vibrators
Voorhees
Wehrmacht
Wire

Need some Can Con? No problem;

Beyond Possession
Bloodshot Bill
Bored Stiff
The Brutal Knights
Cub
Death Sentence
Dementia 13
DOA
The Evaporators
Danko Jones
Deja Voodoo
Thee Goblins
The Gruesomes
The House of Knives
The Last Patrol
The Leather Uppers
Maow
Maximum RnR
Molested Youth
The Rocket Reducers
The Sadies
The Screamagers
Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet
The Sick Boys
The Smugglers
The Sophisticatos
The Subhumans
The Ugly
Unbelievers
The Vapids
The Viletones

These actually range in quality from the obviously stoopid and proudly goofy to those who surprisingly managed to come up with proper songs, with a beginning, middle and end, sometimes even a solo, in under 90 seconds. Some of these are classics, all should be required listening for any aspiring rocker. Less is more.

THE MISFITS ~ "RETURN OF THE FLY" (this video has a long intro which pads out the song length which is only about 90 seconds);


THE SHADOWY MEN ~ "SHADOWY COUNTDOWN";


FIZZY BANGERS ~ "SHORT ATTENTION SPAN":



MAOW ~ "MS. LEFEVRE";



THE GRUESOMES ~ "MY BROKEN HEART WILL NEVER MEND";



THE JAM ~ "BATMAN THEME";



THE ANGRY SAMOANS ~ "THEY SAVED HITLER"S COCK";



THE VIBRATORS ~ "YEAH YEAH YEAH";



THE DESCENDENTS ~ "I DON'T WANNA GROW UP";



THE VANDALS ~ "TO ALL THE KIDS";



WIRE ~ "FEELING CALLED LOVE";



THE FORGOTTEN REBELS ~ "ELVIS IS DEAD";



THE UNDERTONES ~ "SMARTER THAN YOU";



ADRENALINE O.D. ~ "SUBURBIA";



THE RAMONES ~ "CRETIN HOP";



THE CIRCLE JERKS ~ "WASTED";



SCREECHING WEASEL ~ "I HATE LED ZEPPELIN";



OPERATION IVY ~ "BOMBSHELL";



BEYOND POSSESSION ~ "NO RELIGION";


TSOL ~ "ABOLISH GOVT";


DRI ~ "Who am I?";




DISCHARGE ~ "HEAR NOTHING SEE NOTHING SAY NOTHING";



VOORHEES ~ "KEVIN KEEGAN";



NAPALM DEATH ~ "YOU SUFFER";



And then here is of course an entire compilation called "Short Music for short people" which has 99 songs 30 seconds and under.

Want some thing a little less punk and obnoxious? How about Elvis Presley, Duane Eddy, Hank Williams, Ersal Hickey, Chan Romero, Mac Wiseman, Ray Campi, Link Wray, Arch Hall jr, Cliff Richard, Glenn Glen, Merle Travis, Roscoe Holcomb, Hobart Smith, The Byrds, Bluecaps, Wilbur Sweatman, Tiny Hill, The Swingin' Blue Jeans and Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs? There are also demos from Johnny Horton, Willie Nelson, Elvis (again), Cliff Richard (ditto), and Buffalo Springfield. Then there's the Alan Lomax collections which have a lot of really short tracks by blues, folk and gospel singers including Josh White, Jimmie Strothers, Moses Clear Rock Pratt, May Fortune and others.

Putting my money where my mouth is on my CIUT radio show tomorrow (Tuesday Aug. 26, 5pm) I'm going to do a show full of nothing but songs under ninety seconds long. You're welcome AMP Radio.

UPDATE; Even as I was writing this Steve Jones and AMP were already back-pedaling faster than a unicycle backing down a hill. Releasing a bland statement announcing they were withdrawing their "Exiting New Format" while they "reconsidered" things. Jones played the victim card again claiming there were threats of lawsuits (that Micheal Snow precedent I mentioned perhaps). They insist that they may bring it back.
"Our plan is to go back to the drawing board, maybe work a bit closer with some of the various stakeholders in the industry and try and bring this back at a later date."
Right. Kinda like how Mitt Romney is considering running again. That'll totally happen.

This only confirms what some thought, that the whole exercise was a sleazy publicity stunt. Hard to see how looking like cynical incompetents helps their image though.

The Monkees And Other Pre-Fab Groups

Last month a couple of figures associated with the Monkees died. Paul Mazurski who would later become a highly respected film-maker got his start as a director and co-creator for the Monkees TV show. Songwriter Gerry Goffin, who co-wrote with Carole King such hits as "The Locomation" for Little Eva and "Don't Bring Me Down" for the Animals, also wrote songs for the Monkees including "Pleasant Valley Sunday", "Star Collector" and "Porpoise Song". Singer Davy Jones died last year.

THE MONKEES ~ "SHE";


These deaths bring into focus what great music they made (the TV show is good fun too) for those who may have forgotten. Or who never wanted to admit how much they secretly liked them. In the counter-culture 1960's The Monkees were as uncool as any boyband today. Even less actually since in today's post-irony culture you can defend liking damn near anything.

Except Nickleback of course. Personally I'm not sure exactly why Nickleback are so roundly despised. I've always found them to be merely annoying but they really seem to have found whatever the opposite of charisma might be. But I digress.

THE MONKEES ~ "WHAT AM I DOING HANGING ROUND";


The knock against the Monkees was of course that they were the Pre-Fab Four. A group put together specifically by Don Kirshner for a TV show designed to rip-off the success of the Beatles movies. That is of course true. Kirshner carefully auditioned the potential band members based not on musical abilities but on their looks, charm and personality in front of the camera. Worse they also hired songwriters, producers and musicians to do the actual music. All the pre-fab four had to do was show up and sing what was put in front of them and lip-synch for the camera. They were not real musicians. They did not pay their dues.

THE MONKEES SCREEN TESTS (NOT ALL CLIPS HAVE SOUND;


The first part is true, they did have extensive auditions. Among those who were turned down were Stephen Stills (too short, stocky and dour) and reportedly Charles Manson (too...well you can guess). However it was not true that none of those who made the final cut were not "real musicians". Mike Nesmith had been getting a local reputation as a singer/songwriter working in a country/rock vein similar to that of the equally struggling Gram Parsons. Peter Tork had been scuffling through the folk-rock scene and could play virtually any stringed or keyed instrument. The other two members had more showbiz resumes but did have some musical backgrounds as well. Mickey Dolenz had been a child actor in a TV show called "Circus Boy" but he had also sang in a folk duo with his sister and played drums in an obscure and unrecorded garage band. Davy Jones was a fairly well known child star from England where he had appeared as the Artful Dodger in the musical of Oliver Twist and had also had a couple of pop records that reached the mid level of the charts. He even had his own fanclub.

THE MONKEES ~ "MARY MARY";


It's also not entirely true that they did not play on their records. It is a fact that their first two albums were largely played by session men. However Nesmith in particular was insistent that he be allowed to contribute some songs and have some input into the recordings. The other Monkees backed him and after the first season they were so popular that they could force a showdown with Kirshner. The studio was at first dismissive and threatened to fire Nesmith who threatened to quit. Then the other Monkees threatened to quit as well and the studio backed down and instead Kirshner was out. From that point on the musical decisions were theirs. For their third full album the boys became a full band, playing on every track. Having proven their point, for the subsequent albums they made full use of the resources and budgets their success granted them in hiring the best session musicians, producers and composers. They still maintained control however and various tracks might be written by a Monkee or pitched by various songwriters and have any combination of Monkee and session guys playing on it. They are still clearly Monkees records though rather than marketing jingles.

THE MONKEES ~ "STEPPING STONE";


In the beginning the Monkees were basically a vocal group with a producer in charge, this would make them in the same position as one of Phil Spector's groups, or some of the Motown groups, and nobody quibbles with the value of those records. By the third album they were clearly in charge. Songs like "Mary Mary", "For Pete's Sake", "All The King's Men", and "Sweet Young Thing" were written by band members. And it would be band members themselves who made some truly groundbreaking creative decisions such as one of the earliest uses of a Moog on a rock record with "Star Collector" and "Daily Nightly" (that was Mickey's idea) or Peter's use of a harpsichord on "All Of Your Toys" and "The Girl That I Knew Somewhere". Mike Nesmith's country rock fusion is contemporary with or in some cases pre-dates the more celebrated Gram Parsons, Byrds and Buffalo Springfield breakthroughs. He also wrote "Different Drum" for Linda Ronstadt's original band The Stone Ponys. His song "Mary Mary would be covered by The Paul Butterfield Blues band. The band just never got the credit for what they actually achieved.

THE MONKEES ~ "STAR COLLECTOR";


For those who still complain that they merely sang while others pulled the strings I would further point out that

a) That's not entirely true, definitely not after the first season

b) the same could be said of Elvis Presley and Patsy Cline, neither of whom wrote any songs, produced their own records or could really play an instrument very well. They were singers period. And yet nobody would listen to one of their records and say; "Big deal, they didn't write that". Ditto for the Supremes, Gladys Knight, Righteous Bros, Wanda Jackson, and George Jones not to mention most jazz singers.

c) Take a look at the list of people the Monkees had access to. You would have to be an idiot not to make use of them. They included;

Musicians;
Guitarists James Burton, Glen Campbell, Al Casey, Doug Dillard, Danny Kortchmar, Clarence White and even Neil Young. Drummers Hal Blaine and Buddy Miles and saxman Plas Johnson.

Songwriters;
Lieber & Stoller, Carole King & Jerry Goffin, Boyce & Hart, Neil Diamond, Niel Sedaka, Carol Bayer, Paul Williams and Andy Kim

Producers and Arrangers;
Jeff Barry, Jack Nitzsche and Shorty Rogers

THE MONKEES ~ "LAST TRAIN TO CLARKSVILLE";

If you are still going to be a hard-ass about the "purity" of a "real band" who come up together "in the clubs" or went to school together consider some of these other bands who were "created" by a manager or producer and try and pretend you don't like, or even love some of their work;

1. The Piltdown Men;
The Four Preps were an ultra-white pop vocal group of the mid-fifties who found themselves swept aside by rock & roll. While other similar groups like the Four Freshmen, Four Lads The Crewcuts or The Lettermen broke up or ended up on the oldies circuit, head Prep Ed Cobb decided to embrace the Rock. Enlisting prep pianist Lincoln Mayorga they surprisingly decided to completely abandon their smooth pop sounds and even drop the vocals completely in favour of pounding drums and blaring saxophones for a 1960 Bo Diddlyish Frat-Rock instrumental they called "Brontosaurus Stomp". They boosted the lumbering image by calling the group of studio players The Pitdown Men after the infamous caveman hoax of the 1900's. Besides Mayorga on piano and Cobb on guitar the original band included two sax players, Scott Gordon and Jackie Kelso, bassist Tommy Tedesco and drummer Alan Brenmanen. After the surprise hit of "Brontosaurus Stomp" Cobb assembled other studio musicians for various caveman themed followups such as "Old MacDonald's Cave" and "Goodnight Mrs Flintstone" until the novelty wore off. Then Cobb tried to latch on to the surf craze with "Night Surfin" in 1962 before the Piltdown Men returned to the primordial pit from whence they came. Ed Cobb would later resurface as a songwriter and producer of bands like The Standells (for whom he wrote "Dirty Water"), Chocolate Watchband (see below) and Gloria Jones for whom he wrote "Tainted Love".

THE PILTDOWN MEN ~ "BRONTOSAURUS STOMP";


2. The Dave Clark Five;
Dave Clark was an ambitious aspiring actor, session drummer and record producer with little to his credit in the early sixties. However he was smart and observant so when he saw the success of the Liverpool scene of the Beatles he quickly assembled a group of solid musicians including soulful singer Mike Smith with himself on drums, naming the band after himself, just to make it clear who was in charge. Clark acted as manger and producer and ran the band like a business taking a hefty percentage for himself and paying generous salaries to the band. They churned out several hit singles and even more albums which often seemed to simply reissue their hit singles in various combinations and similar looking covers with perfunctory cover songs and instrumentals. They were despised by British critics as mercenaries who cashed in on Mersey Beat but became huge in north America until the late sixties when tastes changed to more complex and socially conscious. At that point The DC5 hit the road for extended tours of Asia, Australia and Latin America until Clark decided times had changed and he quietly pulled the plug. Clark took his fortune and invested wisely in real estate and going into film and television production, walking away from music completely except for a dreadful rock opera he produced on Broadway. He would steadfastly refuse any reunion talks, being really too rich to care.

THE DAVE CLARK FIVE ~ "BITS AND PIECES";


3. The Tornados;
Britain's second greatest guitar instrumental group (after The Shadows) were assembled by legendary producer Joe Meek originally as a vehicle for bassist Heinz Burt, a platinum blonde blue-eyed pretty boy that Meek had a crush on. It happened that Meek had also been working on a strange song which would utilize the innovative "spacey" effects he had developed for a unique sci-fi sound. The resulting record was called "Telstar" which became a huge international hit. After a few followups Meek split Heinz off to a solo career as a singer while the rest of the band became Billy Fury's backup band. Meek would reassemble a different lineup for various attempts at followup singles until 1967. One of these latter-day Tornados would become drummer for Cliff Richard. Heinz never clicked as a solo singer in spite of his teen idol looks and plenty of press and Beatlemania sent both him, Billy Fury and the new version of the Tornados to the oldies circuit. Joe Meek killed himself in 1967.

THE TORNADOS ~ "TELSTAR";


4. The Marketts & The Routers;
The band that did the classic "Out Of Limits" (also done by The Ventures) and "Batman" (originally done by Neal Hefti) was not an actual band at all. Producer Joe Saraceneo assembled various studio musicians to record a surf song he had written called "Surfer's Stomp" in 1961 and dubbed them The Mar-Ketts. The single was successful enough to record followups for a few years recording several singles, which featured different lineups some of which included drummer Hal Blaine and Leon Russell on keyboards. For some reason Saraceneo actually had yet another instrumental group at the same time using most of the same musicians called The Routers. Under this name they recorded another instrumental hit with "Let's Go". Neither of these bands would play live. To further confuse things Saraceneo would later go on to produce the Ventures who would cover most if not all of his earlier hits.

THE MARKETTS ~ "OUT OF LIMITS";


5. The Byrds ~ The Byrds were of course a real band as everyone knows. However for some reason record producer Terry Melcher had so little confidence in them that they reused to let the band actually play on their first single "Mr Tambourine Man" (and it's B Side) instead bringing in a session group consisting of some of the same musicians from the Marketts and Routers including Hal Blaine (drums), Larry Knechtel (bass), Jerry Cole (guitar), and Leon Russell (electric piano). Roger McQuinn was the only Byrd to actually play on the single since his trademark twelve string guitar was integral to the Byrd's sound. It's also possible that David Crosby may have strummed a rhythm guitar. The Byrds did however provide all the vocals. All this in spite of the fact that most of the Byrds members (except drummer Micheal Clarke) were veterans of the folk scene, with bassist Chris Hillman having recorded a bluegrass album with his group The Hillmen. By the time of the second single however the real Bryds were doing all the playing from that point on.

THE BYRDS ~ "I'll FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER";


6. The Strangeloves;
If Ed Cobb had taken on a cartoonish identity and concept for a fake band then The Strangeloves took it to the next logical step and fleshed it out with a whole elaborate backstory. They were the creation of a New York based songwriting and production team of Richard Gotteher, Jerry Goldstein and Rob Feldman (AKA FGG Productions), who had previously worked with the Girl Group The Angels on their 1963 hit "My Boyfriend's Back". With Girl Groups going out of fashion in the wake of Beatlemania they decided to dispense with managing a group and simply made one up. The Strangeloves were supposedly from far off Australia and were naturally three brothers named Giles, Miles and Niles Strange who were raised on a remote sheep farm where the had developed a new species of sheep while forming a band in their spare time and recording crude garage singles like "I Want Candy", "Night Time", and "Cara-Lyn". The public mostly yawned at the whole fake identity idea but the singles were undeniably catchy and became hits in 1964-65 later covered by Bow Wow Wow, The Count Bishops, Fleshtones, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Bauhaus and David Bowie. The singles were successful enough to justify taking a version of the band on the road which it turned out the three Strange Bros, having only been studio players did not enjoy. So they simply hired various session musicians and sent them out on the road as The Strangeloves with nobody noticing. In 1965 they recruited a local Ohio band called Ricky Z & The Raiders led by a young singer guitarist named Rick Derringer to act as the Strangeloves. The Derringer version were so good that FGG brought him into the studio and had him sing over the backing tracks for what was supposed to be the next Strangeloves single, "Hang On Sloopy" giving the band the name The McCoys. "Sloopy" became a hit and the McCoys had followup hits including a version of "Cara-Lyn". Derringer would later go on to a solo career in the seventies. FGG would team up with their old clients The Angels for a one off hit single "Out In The Sun" billed as Beach Nuts. There would be another attempt to create a fake group during the Bubblegum era under the unwieldy moniker The Rock & Roll Double Bubble Trading Card Company Of Philadelphia 19141 which barely made the charts. FGG then roke up for various solo production projects with various members working with The Fleshtones, Blondie, Richard Hell, Robert Gordon, Marshal Crenshaw, Eric Burdon and The Circle Jerks.

THE STRANGELOVES ~ "I WANT CANDY";


7. The Archies;
After his creation The Monkees turned into a Frankenstein's monster Don Kirshner learned his lesson. His next band would not only be hand-made, they would be hand-drawn. After the indignity of being forced out by his no longer docile Monkees Kirshner hit upon the idea of taking the characters from the long running comic who already had a band in the strip and bringing them to life. Sort of. The Archies became an animated Saturday morning TV series with actual songs written and produced by professional pop tunesmith Jeff Barry and played by established and anonymous session musicians fronted by experienced session singer Ron Dante. This formula resulted in the massive hit "Sugar Sugar" which you have to admit is pretty damn catchy. There were even a few followups and a couple of albums. In fact the "band" were so successful that Kirshner decided to push things by putting Dante on stage with a band for a few shows. In another year the novelty had worn off however and the Archies faded fast. "Sugar Sugar" was still classic enough to be the only song covered by both Wilson Picket and The Germs. The Archies' legacy would lead to hits from toon "bands" like Josie & The Pussycats and Pebbles & Bam Bam.

JOE DANTE & THE ARCHIES ~ "SUGAR SUGAR";


8. 1910 Fruitgum Factory, The Ohio Express and The Shadows Of Knight;
At the same time Kirshner was thinking up the Monkees a pair of producers in L.A. were thinking of putting together their own pre-fab group. Jeff Katz and Jerry Kasenetz were managers of a series of garage bands including The Rare Breed who had a hit with "Beg Borrow And Steal" which ripped off the riff from "Louie Louie" and a transplanted Canadian garage band called The Palace Guard who had scored a minor local hit single but were then unable to find a hit in the follow ups which included a cover of a Monkees tune. After this failure K&K (as they called themselves) decided that rather than take the time and effort to groom an actual band they would simply create one once they had a likely hit song. Accordingly the assembled a group of little known session guys to record an Archies sound-alike called "Yummy Yummy Yummy" and dubbed them The 1910 Fruitgum Company. This single was so successful that it would coin the term "Bubblegum" for a genre of absurdly simple and relentlessly upbeat yet admittedly catchy pop singles. Once the Fruitgum Company was played out on the charts K&K simply moved on under a different name, such as The Ohio Express (who are not to be confused with The Ohio Players, a 1970's funk band), using most of the same musicians. At one point they recruited singer from the excellent Chicago blues/garage band The Shadows Of Knight who had just broken up and hired a group of session guys to record a single "Shake" which was released under the group's name. It was successful enough to lead this version of the Shadows to record a full album and tour before giving up the ghost. K&K would score other hits into the K-Tell era of the 1970's under a ever changing set of names.

THE SHADOWS OF KNIGHT ~ "SHAKE";


9. The Chocolate Watchband;
The Watchband were actually a real band who had slugged it out in the San Francisco garage scene with an energetic live show. Unfortunately after getting signed by Uptown Records things get complicated to a Byzantine degree. After recording part of a first album the record company decided to rush the release and got producer Ed Cobb (who had previously sung in the Four Preps and produced The Piltdown Men and The Standells) to add on songs with vocals done by inhouse songwriter and session singer Don Bennett. In spite of the fact that new singer Bennett was black and sounded noticeably different than original white guy singer Dave Aguillar. The album was fleshed out with instrumentals done by an anonymous session band meaning that only four of the album's tracks actually featured the full Watchband. Although now considered a classic of 60's Garage the resulting album "No Way Out" also suffered from lack of promotion and distribution and was not a hit so the already unhappy band then broke up. However at this point the band had a new label, Tower Records who were not ready to give up the ghost and a second album "The Inner Mystique" was released made up of outtakes left over from the first album. This sort of thing was not uncommon (example; The Buffalo Springfield's third album) however Cobb went even further when he decided that there wasn't enough material for a full album and so blithely took several tracks from completely different groups, The Yo-Yoz and The Inmates, who had demoed for the label, and simply added them to the album listing those tracks as Watchband tracks. With eye catching pop-art album covers these albums sold well enough for the band's management to convince a couple members of the band (minus Aguillar) to reform and record a third album. This time the resulting album was actually the reformed group with the addiction of Moby Grape guitarist Jerry Miller who dropped by incognito as he was still under contract to CBS and played lead on the album. This album "One Step Beyond" was not a success and the Watchband broke up for good. This time the label let them stay that way.

THE CHOCOLATE WATCHBAND ~ "DON'T NEED YOUR LOVING";


10. The Electric Prunes;
Another classic 60's garage band, The Electric Prunes were also a real band at first but once signed by Reprise Records they were handed over to songwriters Annette Tucker and Nancy Mantz who wrote two hit singles "I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night" and "Get Me To The World On Time", both classic 60's nuggets. The resulting first album sold well but the followup did not and the band called it quits in 1967. So far nothing too unusual here. However producer David Axelrod took over and released the third album "Mass In F Major" of early prog-rock under the Electric Prunes name in spite of the fact that few if any of the band members were left and the albums sounded nothing like the Prunes. The bulk of the playing on the album was done by Canadian band The Collectors fleshed out by session men. A fourth album of more prog-rock entitled "Release Of An Oath" followed with various members of The Collectors and yet another band, Climax. These albums were judged to be screamingly pretentious embarrassments by all concerned. Amazingly by 1969 the label was still not ready to give up and reformed the band yet again with a completely new lineup and released a fourth album titled "Good Old Rock And Roll". As title suggested this was an attempt to get away from the failures of the previous two albums (which weren't real Prunes albums either remember) and get back to basics. The album stiffed of course and this time they gave up for good in 1970. The Collectors would later reform as Chilliwack who would score numerous hits in Canada and America later in the 1970's and 80's.

THE ELECTRIC PRUNES ~ "I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT" & "GET ME TO THE WORLD ON TIME";


11. The Velvet Underground;
Obviously the iconic Velvets were a real band, at least for the first four albums. However by the time they had wrapped up the fourth album "Loaded" the band had disintegrated. John Cale had been forced out after the second album and replaced with Doug Yule. Before heading into the studio to record "Loaded" drummer Maureen Tucker was gone after getting pregnant. By the end of the session Lou Reed had given up in frustration and quit. Manager Steve Sesnick was not willing to give up quite so easily and reformed the band around the pliable Doug Yule, his drummer brother Billy and guitarist Sterling Morrison to tour the album. Morrison soon quit as well but the Velvets still went into the studio with zero original members and released a third album, "Squeeze" which sank like a stone and that was that.

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND & THE PLASTIC EXPLODING INEVITABLE;


THE VELVET UNDERGROUND & NICO ~ "SYMPHONY OF SOUND";


12. Fleetwood Mac;
No group has ever had a more traumatic and confusing life than Fleetwood Mac. The original late sixties version was led by Peter Green and was a respected blues/rock band in Britain. The band was fleshed out with rhythm section Mick Fleetwood and John McVie (after whom the band was named) and singer/guitarist Jeremy Spencer, later a third guitarist Danny Kirwin was added. After four solid albums and some classic singles things got strange. First band leader Peter Green gobbled handfulls of acid while on tour and began hallucinating that he was a biblical prophet. He began growing his hair and beard long and wearing flowing robes and a large crucifix and vowing t o donate the band's profits to charity. He soon left. Singer Jeremy Spencer the band's other front man, then stepped in and a fifth album was recorded. He was unhappy with the pressure of being band leader though and had a nervous breakdown after a minor earthquake while on tour in California. He subsequently fled the band and joined a religious cult where he still remains today. That left the band's third guitarist Danny Kirwin and a new recruits keyboardist Christine McVie and American singer/guitarist Bob Welch. Kirwin turned out to be just as fragile as Green and Spencer and he had a nervous breakdown while backstage and refused to go on, banging his head against the wall until it bled. He was quickly fired. When the band then decided to take some time off from their grueling tour schedule which had already cost them three members which led to a battle with their manager who insisted they get back on the road. In the flurry of lawsuits that followed manager Clifford Davis actually managed to convince Danny Kirwin back and formed a group which he sent back on the road under the name Fleetwood Mac which he claimed he owned in spite of the fact that not only were there no original members left but the band was actually named after Fleetwood and McVie. This did not last too long though and the band was able to free themselves from their manger's clutches and regain their name. Further lineup changes would lead to the mega-star 1970's version. Sadly Kirwin would end up institutionalized.

FLEETWOOD MAC ~ "BLACK MAGIC WOMAN";


12. Boney M;
Disco was full of producers who put out records using anonymous session guys under assumed names. Since disco did not require live concerts there was no need to put a face to the records. German producer Frank Farian decided to go one better and create an actual band that could tour and promote his latest song "Do You Wanna Bump". Accordingly he recruited a trio of female backup singers and lead singer Bobby Farrell (all from the West Indies) and was probably surprised when his creation scored a series of hits in Europe and sold a jawdropping fifty million albums. That's more than the Beatles, at least at the time. They were not as successful in America but still scored a number of hits including one of the iconic hits of the disco era with the silly but addictive "Rasputin". Like Kirshner he would later see his puppets take on a life of their own as they decided (wrongly) that they could score hits without their puppet master. By the mid 1980's there were more lawsuits than hits as no less than three different Boney M's were on tour. Farian would later decide that he would need a band who clearly had no talent at all and would therefore not get ideas above their station. And that's when he came up with Milli Vanilli but let's not dwell on that.

BONEY M ~ "RASPUTIN";


13. The Village People;
After carefully watching Frank Florian's adventures French disco producer Jacques Morali decided he to bypass Europe with an expressly American version to promote his vision of populist gay disco songs like "Macho Man". Accordingly he recruited a group of mostly gay (except for the lead singer Victor Willis) club dancers and dressed them up as various gay archetypes naming them after the gay area, The Village. "Macho Man" was a massive hit as was it's followups "YMCA", "Go West" and "In The Navy". The latter so much so that the U.S. Navy actually used it in recruitment ads. Amazingly the public at large (not to mention the Navy) had completely missed all the gay subtexts, although they really weren't all that subtle. Eventually people caught on and there was an outraged backlash from Conservative America that stalled their career. Making a hugely expensive and terrible movie was the last straw and the group collapsed after lead singer Victor Willis quit after revealing that he was the only band member who was actually singing in their live shows while the rest got to lip-synch.

14. The Sex Pistols;
Everybody knows by now that Malcom McLaren put this band together. Even if he wildly exaggerates his contribution, and he most certainly did, there's no denying the original vision was his. The original version was a legendarily bad trio called "The Strand" and then "The Swankers" with Steve Jones on vocals & bass, Paul Cook on drums and Wally Nightingale on guitar. Then McLaren signed on as manager. He was a wildly ambitious aspiring impresario who had briefly managed the New York Dolls (with notable lack of success) along with a clothing store modestly called "Sex" where The Swankers hanged out. McLaren fired the bespectacled Nighingale for being too ugly, moved the hoarse, husky voiced Jones to guitar, brought in Glen Matlock on bass and changed the name to The Sex Pistols. Now to find a singer. He started with music critic Nick Kent, who had the look and charisma but also had a serious drug habit and soon quit before even playing a gig. Then he recruited ambitious Scottish singer Mudge Ure who quickly decided he didn't like taking orders from McLaren and departed, later to join Ultravox. Then at his wit's end McLaren stumbled on to Johnny Lydon hanging out as his shop and the rest was infamy. McLaren soon lost control of Lydon and the band through his head-games, ego, greed, short attention span and indecisiveness and he would have no particular impact on the band's music or stage show but he did contribute much to the band's look as well as the distinctive DaDa graphic art of their record covers and posters.

THE SEX PISTOLS ~ "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN";


15. The Runaways;
Kim Fowley was the Los Angeles version of Malcom McLaren, a would-be Svengali who was at the same time too clever and too stupid for his own good. McLaren, being educated and English, had all sorts of art and politics pretensions while Fowley was only interested in two things (besides money); sex and rock n' roll. Accordingly he decided he what he needed was a band of hot young girls playing glam rock. Which he quickly got once he stumbled on to first Joan Jett and Sandy West then Lita Ford, Miki Steele and then Cherie Currie who he molded into The Runaways. Bassist Steele was soon fired for being a couple of years older than the rest of the band, she later joined The Bangles. Once again the results are well known. And again, like McLaren, Fowley's contribution is controversial. He claims a much larger role in the look and sound of the band than they do. The "Runaways" movie has Fowley writing their first hit "Cherry Bomb" on the spur of the moment while Joan Jett claims that she wrote it with early songwriting partner Kari Krome. Cherie Currie's book agrees with Jett and the song is indeed credited to Jett and Krome. From what has been seen of Joan Jett and Lita Ford both in the band and solo it seems that their musical tastes were pretty much set before Fowley got ahold of them, ditto for Jett and Currie's basic glam-punk look. At any rate like McLaren Fowley's manipulative and controlling nature, egotism and greed would break up the band. Jett would go on to bigger solo hits as would Ford to a lesser extent. As for Fowley; he was never able to find a follow up and was reduced to cashing in with albums of outtakes and demos.

THE RUNAWAYS ~ "CHERRY BOMB";


16. Siouxsie & The Banshees;
Siouxsie and her then boyfriend Steve Severin were part of the Bromley Contingent; a group of flashy London punk scenesters that included Billy Idol, Tony James (future Gen X and Sigue Sigue Sputnik) and Steve Strange (future Visage singer) in Punk's 1976 summer of hate. Inevitably she decided she wanted to graduate to the stage herself and so cobbled together a band that included Severin on bass, another scenester, Sid Vicious on drums and Marco Pironi on guitar. Marco was the only actual one in the band with any actual musical experience, however limited, so after a few weeks of desultory practices they scored a gig and went on stage with a fifteen minute jam on "The Lord's Prayer" (a hit version if which had actually made the charts sung by Sister Janet Mead, an actual nun) which tossed in fragments of various other songs that they knew parts of. By all accounts they were dreadful but Siouxsie had obvious charisma so when she approached Malcom McLaren's assistant Nils Stevenson to manage the band. Stevenson set about assembling a band around Siouxsie. Severin was kept on bass but Marco was out as looking too old and chunky for the Banshees (he later joined Adam Ant's band after McLaren poached the Ants to put together Bow Wow Wow) while Sid Vicious quit to form his own band but ended up in the Sex Pistols. After going through a few drummers and guitarists (plus a violinist in an ill-advised Velvet Underground phase) they ended up with John McKay on guitar and Kenny Morris on drums. The new Banshees recorded two successful albums and several singles before McKay and Morris stormed out in a dispute with Siouxsie and Stevenson in 1978. They were eventually replaced by Slits drummer Budgie and former Magazine guitarist John McGeogh for three more classic albums until Stevenson quit for obscure reasons in 1982 with McGeogh being abruptly fired shortly afterwards after collapsing with exhaustion. The Banshees soldiered on for a few more albums but it just wasn't the same.

SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES ~ "HONG KONG GARDEN";


17. Bow Wow Wow;
Malcom McLaren found himself with nothing to do after the Sex Pistols imploded. He tried to put a band together behind Chrisy Hynde; an American who had come to England looking to become a singer and was then working at Malcolm store. But she proved resistant to his tacky and exploitative ideas of marketing her as some sort of bondage hooker and went off to form her own band with the Pretenders. So when Adam Ant paid him a thousand pounds to become his manager Malcolm was game. Ant had been scuffing around for a couple years with his Ants, who included former Banshees guitarist Marco Pironi, playing a ramshackle fusion of glam/punk/surf and spaghetti-western music. Malcolm helped bring focus to the Ants visually and as a concept. But then Malcolm couldn't leave well enough alone and decided what the Ants needed was some jailbait. So he poached away the Ants rhythm section and built a new band around a young fifteen year old Burmese singer Annabella Lwin (real name Lu Win) who, unlike Chrisy Hynde, was too young and naive to have any strong views of her own. Bow Wow Wow would take the glam/surf/spaghetti-western sound of the Ants and added a spurious African tribal beat and a whole lot of energy for a unique sound. Malcolm added an image based on promoting a tribal image with jailbait sex and cheap thrills, including lyrics with obvious double entendres and album art featuring nudity in artwork taken from Manet. The media ate it up and the group had some moderate success after a hit cover version of The Strangeloves "I Want Candy" but their fire was somewhat stolen by Adam Ant of all people who (along with Marco) reformed a new Ants and ended up having more hits. As with the Pistols, Malcolm couldn't leave well enough alone and encouraged much strife in the band. At one point hiring a new singer, a flamboyant scenester calling himself Boy George to play off against Annabella. The band quickly decided enough was enough and fired Malcolm and George. Bow Wow Wow recorded one more solid album then broke up. Annabella went on to a low key solo career while Boy George went on to a notably high profile one. Without Malcolm though. McLaren gave up management and recorded a couple of surprisingly successful solo singles himself.

BOW WOW WOW ~ "I WANT CANDY";


18. Tubeway Army;
Gary Webb was an ambitious would be singer/guitarist in the 1970's London punk scene with a serious fixation on Bowie and the John Foxx era Ultravox who desperately wanted to have a band of his own. Problem was that besides the fact that he couldn't keep one together he also hated performing live. No matter; after some false starts he managed to put together a band with bassist Paul Gardiner changing his own name to Gary Numan, drafting in his uncle to play drums and dubbed it The Tubeway Army. They recorded a demo that was good enough to get signed by Beggar's Banquet Records. The resulting album was credited to Tubeway Army which got some good reviews but did not exactly set the charts on fire due partly to Numan's reluctance to tour. By the time he went back into the studio the band as such no longer existed and Tubeway Army was simply a collection of session musicians which included Ultravox keyboard and fiddle player Billy Currie. Numan was by now focused on synths anyway and later dropped the Tubeway Army name altogether and went under his solo name where he would score a massive techo-pop hit with the classic "Cars". Paul Gardiner would occasionally work with Numan again until his death in 1984.

GARY NUMAN ~ "CARS"


19. The Germs;
The Germs weren't formed by a manager but they were still a group assembled and pre-packaged before they had even learned how to play an instrument. In this case the Svengali was singer Darby Crash, who had worked out a whole name, image and marketing strategy while still in high-school. His plan was to form and band, name it and come up with stage names for the members, design a logo and posters, promote the band, find a few instruments, book a gig, THEN learn a few songs, then record an album. After recruiting school chum he dubbed Pat Smear on guitar, Crash decided on a female rhythm section. That ran into a few problems when one of the new recruits, one Belinda Carlisle, decided she'd rather sing, and be in a less scuzzy band, like the Go-Go's. Then drummer Donna Rhia was deemed to inept for even the Germs and was replaced, after a couple of shambolic gigs, with Don Boles. After that things pretty much went as planned with The Germs building a cult audience were signed by Slash Records and appeared in "The Decline Of Western Civilization". They also got banned from playing pretty much everywhere and an unsatisfied Crash kept tinkering with the band's look and line-up. Eventually in December 1981 they did one last gig and Crash went home and overdosed. This was apparently part of Crash's plan as well; to go out as a cult hero and cement his reputation as a rebel without a clue. Unfortunately he chose to kill himself one day before John Lennon was shot and did not get the press attention he was hoping for. In 2007 a Germs biopic named "What We Do Is Secret" was released with actor Shane West playing Crash. The Movie led to a reunion tour with the original Germs and West filling in on vocals to surprisingly good reviews.

THE GERMS ~ "LEXICON DEVIL";


20. The Plasmatics;
The Plasmatics were formed by manager Rod Swenson to capitalize on charismatic scenester Wendy O. Williams as the singer of an ultra-violent, Clockwork Orange version of Bow Wow Wow. If Malcom McLaren gave his pervy jailbait imagery some artsy pretensions and political slogans, then Swenson went straight for the camp gutter with a topless Wendy covered in shaving cream, sawing guitars with a chainsaw, taking a sledgehammer to TV sets and once blowing up a car onstage while guitarist Richie Stotts cavorted around in a tutu, studs and a mohawk. Stotts was a well known scenester recruited to give the band some street cred while the rest of the band were jobbers dressed up in punk gear, while bassist Jen Beauvoir had a serious R&B background having played with Gary US Bonds and Doo-Wop group The Flamingos since his teens. Some punk journalists considered them a bad joke but they were so over-the-top that most punks didn't really mind. They recorded a few albums and got piles of press but did not exactly set the charts on fire until they broke up. Williams went solo by recording a collaboration with Motorhead on a version of "Stand By Your Man" that caused Motorhead guitarist Fast Eddie Clark to quit. After that she did an album of generic metal that sank without a trace. Eventually she retired and became an animal rights activist. Sadly she killed herself in 1998. Mohawked black bassist Jean Beauvoir would record a couple of unsuccessful solo albums as well.

THE PLASMATICS ~


21. The Bluebells;
A mid-1980's Scottish band from the era of acoustic Celtic groups like Aztec Camera, The Waterboys, The Alarm and The Hothouse Flowers; The Bluebells were the brainchild of Robert Hodgens, a writer for a music magazine who had held a contest for band demos the winner of which would win possible record deal. Hodgens submitted a demo under the name of Bobby Bluebell and was perhaps a little surprised to win. He had to quickly form an actual band to take advantage of the opportunity. The Bluebells would score a few hits in Britain using differing lineups for the rest of the decade.

THE BLUEBELLS ~ "CATH";


21. Sigue Sigue Sputnik;
By 1986 most post-punk bands, no matter how cynically conceived, would at least pretend to have some sort of political or artsy ideology. Not Sigue Sigue Sputnik, they openly and loudly advertised that they were a pre-packaged marketing tool who cared nothing for their fans or music. It was as if someone had taken all the smug boasting of Macolm McLaren, Kim Fowley, Rod Swenson, Darby Crash and Gene Simmons and said; "These guys are just too subtle". They were the brainchild of Tony James who as former bassist for Generation X had plenty of time to watch how not only McLaren and Nils Stevenson had operated but also how Gen X singer Billy Idol had left the ashes of Gen X to have a massive solo career. Accordingly James set out to create a band that would grab media attention by sheer brash salesmanship and a carefully thought out updating of the basic Adam & The Ants urban pirate-punk look for the Road Warrior/Blade Runner age. Unlike most post punk bands he would not even pay lip service to punk's political ideals, the only thing that mattered was money, attention and sex. Even the music was an after-thought. In fact the band he assembled had for the most part little musical experience (although guitarist Neal X had played with Johnny Thunders) and were recruited solely for their looks; two were the spitting image of Billy Idol while singer Martin Degville (recruited while dancing at some poncey club) looked like a combination of Boy George, The Mighty Wez from "Road Warrior" Alex from "A Clockwork Orange" and a Muppet Peacock. James himself would switch from bass to guitar since bass wasn't rock star looking enough. Like the Germs they did not even play any gigs nor did they have any songs, they simply gave out press releases in which James and Degville said various outrageous things and had endless photoshoots. Record companies who had previously passed on the likes of The Sex Pistols, Siouxsie, Adam & The Ants, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Culture Club and The Jesus And Mary Chain as being too over-the-top only to see them score hits were oddly susceptible to this blatant manipulation as was the British media. Accordingly Sigue Sigue Sputnik were signed by EMI for a large advance in spite of the fact that they had never actually played a single gig, nor did they have any real songs. Taking their advance Tony James promptly set to work hiring famed producer Georgio Morroder who took the fragmentary songs added a drum machine and drenched them in sound affects and echo and presto; a debut album. James then topped it of by selling advertising in the record grooves. Then they made a few videos of the band frolicking around London. At that point James remembered that they would have to at least go through the motions of being a band and playing live so a perfunctory tour was done. While all this scored volumes of media attention the singles actual chart action was mediocre and the followup was worse. While the singles did alright in dance clubs the music was just too jarring and noisy for the mainstream while the underground despised them. For the followup album James brought in Rick Astley's producers for a more radio friendly pop sound which sank like a stone and that was that.

SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK ~ "21th CENTURY BOY";


22. Skid Row;
Sebastian Bach had been kicking around the Toronto glam metal scene for a couple of years singing in a band called Kid Wikkid. Everyone agreed he had star quality. He had a powerful voice, pretty-boy looks and a larger than life stage presence. In the aftermath of the massive success Guns N' Roses his manager whisked him off to Los Angeles where Atlantic Records assembled a band of local wannabes and called it Skid Row. Their first album was a hit and so was a followup but then came Nirvana and that killed off the Glam Metal scene with shocking speed. All of a sudden gritty authenticity was in vogue and Skid Row became particularly uncool. The band was dropped and Bach was fired after the usual "musical differences". They eventually broke up with various members disappearing into the void from whence they came while Bach returned home to Toronto where he would eventually play the lead role in the stage version of Phantom Of The Opera.

SKID ROW ~ "I REMEMBER YOU";